Tony Wright, 2018 Clore Social Fellow, writes about being a CEO of a small charity, looking after yourself and family life… all amidst a pandemic.

Sometimes, running a small charity can feel like ‘clinging onto a runaway train’ and no matter how much we try to make sure we have a work-life balance, nine times out of ten, the rhetoric just doesn’t meet the reality.

It is a competitive world out there and the only thing that buys time in this business is money. By that I mean sufficient funding to employ more staff and delegate tasks, or as I have just discovered, a worldwide pandemic will buy you a lot of time to reflect on what really matters.

Never in a working career stretching over 40 years have I had to cancel every single appointment, booking or project for the next 12 months… but I have, and after the initial anxiety of doing so, it’s been truly liberating.

It was during my Clore Social Leadership programme in 2018 that I was given tacit permission by the programme tutors to put myself first. They told me my health and my wellbeing were paramount and whilst that may seem obvious, it was not to me. They said it was my responsibility to look after myself otherwise I would not be in the best place to look after others or carry out my responsibilities as a CEO in the Service Charity sector.

"Being given permission to be kind to myself has been life changing."

For the first time in my working life I made full use of my holiday entitlement. I was only available during working hours and never at weekends. If I were tired, I would finish early, I am a morning person and my best thinking and productivity is over by 3pm. The last two hours of a 9-5 working day are in my case, quite pointless as I am up at 6am and respond to outstanding emails before the daily commute to work. By late afternoon I am just going through the motions.

The enforced break has for me, been a blessing, as I have had to accept that I was not in control of anything work related. It has proved to be a fantastic opportunity to relax and reflect on professional practice, the direction of my life and what really makes me happy. This can rarely be achieved during working hours or during my annual holiday allocation - I usually get a bad cold and my much-needed break is spent recovering! As they say… the body keeps the score. It takes me at least six days before I stop dreaming about work issues and once I have reached that meditative state, I then start thinking about what I need to do before I return. It is not good!

However, this pandemic was something different, Italy was in big trouble, so I decided to shut up shop on 14th March to protect staff and those accessing our service. A great deal of our work is community based and involves group or one-to-one intervention. The fact we still don’t fully understand how this virus is transmitted tells me that my decision to stop all operations was the right thing to do. In a world where defensive decision-making rules… I was glad that I did!

Within days, members of my family went down with flu-like symptoms which may or may not have been related to the Coronavirus, but we have all struggled with a persistent chest infection for the last few weeks. My household, like many others, has experienced the anxiety, worry and mild paranoia of trying to protect and shield against an invisible threat that even the medical experts are struggling to understand.

"Despite my taking holidays and setting boundaries... the charity that I founded and manage has gone from strength to strength."

Yet, despite the circumstances, family isolation has been a wonderful experience, even the family dog has benefited from numerous walks and constant company. As a family we are concerned for friends and acquaintances and devastated by the tragic loss of life of so many. Yet, we are grateful for everything we have and more appreciative of each other too. Previously I think we may have taken everything and each other for granted. The opportunity to read all the books that never get read, listen to music, wipe the dust off neglected musical instruments, enjoy quality time preparing healthy home cooked meals and the simple joy of eating together has been a truly wonderful experience. We all know what is most important and the reality is, it is not work.

Bizarrely, despite my taking holidays and setting boundaries regarding my availability, the charity that I founded and manage has gone from strength to strength over the last two years winning numerous awards and attracting significant funding for the future. I now know that my employment matters but does not define me. I want it to continue on its current trajectory but if this pandemic has taught me anything, it is that I’m happiest at home with my family and that they come first.

To paraphrase the musician Ray Wylie Hubbard:

"The days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations … I have really good days."

Kate Stanley is a 2010 Clore Social Fellow. Reflecting on her own experience, Kate shares some micro-tips for transition during lockdown in her video, plus transcript below.

Hi, my name is Kate Stanley and when Clore Social put out the call for stories about leading through this period of lockdown, I thought it was an interesting opportunity to reflect on my own experience of transition during this lockdown period.

Last week I was working at the NSPCC as a Board Director, where I was director of strategy policy and evidence. I was at NSPCC for over eight years and I had a team of 65, a substantial budget and a significant span of control. Obviously NSPCC is one of the country's largest children’s charities and has a long history of over 130 years of preventing cruelty to children.

That was last week. This week I have started my new role - I’ve joined the FrameWorks Institute. We have a team of three in the UK and big plans. It would be a really significant change at any time but obviously it's particularly significant during this time of lockdown.

The FrameWorks Institute is a non-profit based in the US and it works to help other non-profits to shift public understanding of important social issues to drive social change. It does this through framing research. Framing is really about what we say and how we say it, so it helps organisations to reframe their issue to drive social change.

That would be, as I said, a big change at any time but especially big now, so I was reflecting on the things that have helped me during this transition. There are three things that really popped to mind straightaway:

1. Don’t neglect rites of passage

The first one was about rites of passage. My background is an anthropologist. In anthropology you learn about rites of passage being important. Ways of marking moments in time. Obviously when we leave organisations there are certain rites of passage that we normally have and at this time of lockdown many of those just aren’t possible; the get-togethers, the drinks and so on. So we had a zoom farewell which was that opportunity for me to say bye to colleagues and to say thank you and good luck, and for them say bye to me. I was very hesitant to do this at first but actually I'm really glad that I did. It was an important opportunity to mark that rite of passage, to mark that moment of transition and I'm really glad I got the chance to to say bye.

2. Pay attention to your work environment

The second thing that's made a difference is something as simple as rearranging the study in which I work. Now obviously, we're all working, or many of us are working, at home at the moment but having a new setup, new things around me to mark that transition from one organisation to another has again been really important and helpful for me in marking that change.

3. Reconnect with your network

The third thing that, I would reflect, has been important is to reconnect with networks. As many of you will recognise that when you're doing a high pressure intensity job, it’s quite difficult to keep up with your networks. But if you're involved with Clore Social, you’ll also know how important that they are. So this has been a really good moment for me to reconnect with networks, reconnect with former colleagues and to strengthen those ties so I feel like I'm part of something much bigger.

So, there are three things that have helped me in this transition during this lockdown phase. I hope you're getting on alright, and I look forward to hearing your story.